Well, this is interesting...

The merry month of December

Since I'm too old to move back home to Mom's house, I've decided to move her in with me. Actually, due to circumstances, Mom will be moving in with me next month, the very same month my current job comes to an end. You say coincidence, I say the stuff is all hitting the fan at the same time.
Not that I don't think her moving in here isn't a good idea. She can't really afford to rent her own house on her limited income and at 81, she needs someone who can check in on her on a daily basis. Neither one of us is a very social person, so it's not like our parties are going to disturb one another. And we both enjoy spending time on the computer. So I imagine we'll get along OK. But it is going to be very weird for a while. Despite the fact we're good friends, I haven't lived in her house since I was 16 years old, 34 years ago, and she's lived independently for those years as well. It's going to be quite an adjustment for us both. Meanwhile, I've rented a storage unit to fill with all our extra furniture and everything else that won't fit in the house with two people living here. There's a lot of work to be done between now and then. And a full-time job to think about as well. Then, come January, all that activity will be over. That's when I'm planning on having my nervous breakdown.
I need another cup...

Progress...

The development of Jebers.com is coming along, but the forum is already in place and ready for visitors. Please stop by, and if you feel so inclined, become a member. Let's talk about the topics of concern to all of us...how computers work and what impact they have on our lives. Do you have gardening questions, want to brag about your pets? Share with us. Jeber's Help Desk is all about the human in front of the keyboard as much as it is the machine on the other side. Come by and see for yourself.

A perfect end to the week

OK, so it's my Friday night (I know it's only Wednesday, but I get the next two days off, thus...) and it's 10:00PM. I get off work at 10:30, and there are no calls waiting to be answered.
Usually, we hate this. It's too early to log out, but we dread that last call that may take us into overtime and earn us the displeasure of the payroll department. So about 2 minutes later I get a call. Uh-oh. And it's someone with a "yearly" pin number, meaning they get unlimited number of support calls for a year. But many of the yearly folk think that means they can talk for an unlimited amount of time on each call. They tend to like to chat. And that really messes up our que for other callers, who have to wait for us to get free of these.
So I reluctantly answered the call. The caller said, "I don't really have any issues, I just have a suggestion. This help desk should offer Linux support. I just wiped Windows off my computer and loaded SUSE 9.1 two days ago, and I love it." That cracked me up. My last call on a "Friday" night, and I get to talk Linux. What a perfect way to end the week.
Thanks, new friend, for letting me leave work this week with a smile on my face. I hope to meet you again in Scot's forum.

It's alive!

I've posted my custom "place holder" page to Jebers.com. I hope it isn't there for long, that I'll soon have at least the main page ready to put up. I'll also be adding a fun little FAQ page to Jeber.net. I'm back to using Dreamweaver for most of the composing, but thanks to Josh's inspiration, I've been trying to make more use of CSS.
One tip you may find useful. SP2 breaks Dreamweaver if DW is already installed. But if you uninstall it, load SP2 then reinstall DW, it seems to work just fine. I have no idea why, or if this will work for you. But it's working fine for me. I do have DW in a separate partiton from Windows. Perhaps that makes the difference.
Keep Jeber's Help Desk in mind, and send me your ideas, tips and suggestions (jebers.help.desk "at" gmail.com). It's all appreciated. And a huge thanks to Scot, Chris, Josh and all my friends at Scot's and Lockergnome forums. You've all truly been an inspiration.

Coming soon...

As of today, I'm the proud owner of the Jebers.com domain name. This is the first step in my determination to carve out my own little niche on the World Wide Web.

Those of you who know me as Jeber may wonder why Jebers. Once I have the site up, you'll see that I intend to use that in the possessive, and the site's name will be Jeber's Help Desk.

Lest you think I only intend to make the site computer-centric, I'll let you in on some of my thinking in regards to the planned content of Jebers.com. There certainly will be computer help offered, both for Windows and Linux. Now that I'm involved in offering computer help both for a living and as a pastime, I'm coming across information every day I want to pass along to others. At work I'm totally in a Windows environment, one that covers every operating system from 95 to XP, and eventually, if it ever gets released, Longhorn. At home, I'm using and learning about Linux. Both have their strengths, both have their weaknesses. Both are far more complex than the average user ever notices. While trying to stay focused on the everyday user, I'll also try to include content for the more advanced. But that's only half, perhaps three-quarters, of what I want to include on my new site.

There will also be humor. I intend to eventually incorporate my "Really Bad Computer Advice" page into the site, and open it for contributions from my friends. There will also be some of the lighter moments of life at a real-life help desk. I hope you'll get a chuckle out of some of the things we hear and situations we deal with on a daily basis. Humor is such a wonderful thing. It's gotten me through some very tough times, and I value the benefit it can bring into our lives. I really enjoy bringing humor into my life, and yours.

Finally, Jeber's Help Desk will offer personal help. This is an area I've been trying to figure out how to explore for many months. I am both a licensed minister in the state of California and an atheist. For those of you who may think you see a glaring inconsistency there, let me elaborate. I do believe humans are special creations, as are all living things on this planet. I do not believe we are the creations of a supernatural power. I do not believe we were created for some purpose known only to a select few. I believe all life is an amazing coincidence, something that could only occur one time out of a billion. That makes all life special and unique. If we were simply the good idea of a supernatural power, doesn't it make sense that power would have repeated that practice elsewhere? Yet we have thus far failed to detect any other life anywhere in the known universe. I accept that is because trillions of factors have to be "just right" to produce what we know as life. So I value all life very highly. Every living thing is like a fingerprint, never repeated exactly the same. And as a human myself, I have a special affection for my own species. I think humans are wonderfully complex, interesting and generally nice to know. But we are also social animals, and as such suffer many problems caused by our need to fit into a societies that often don't produce happiness in our lives. I want to do my small part to increase the happiness in the lives of those who stop by Jebers.com. In my 50 years, I've had my share of good times and bad, and I've learned a lot from those I've met along the road. I want to not only share what I've learned, but to provide a venue for others to share the wisdom they've gleaned over the years as well. I hope to set up a forum at some point to allow my friends (and anyone who visits with good intentions is a friend) to share their knowledge of computers as well as their knowledge of the human existence. My goal is to make everyone who visits smarter and happier by the time they leave.

Don't go racing over to Jebers.com just yet. It may be several days before I even have a chance to set up the general design of the place. Even then there will be frequent changes and tweaks until I get it into the shape I desire. Josh knows exactly what I mean (he's my secret source of all good web design advice...not that I follow his lead as often as I should). Meanwhile, enjoy my blogs and Jeber.net. I'll be adding content to all of them in the next day or two.

Be happy, compute...and stay tuned.

How may I help you?

Hey, it's better than "Would you like fries with that". At least for my circumstances, anyway. So the week and a half of training is over, and tomorrow we "go live". Wednesday will be our first day on the phones by ourselves, each of us squirrelled away in our own little cubicle (mine is #35, if you're ever in the neighborhood stop by and say hi), with all our notes and cheat sheets of useful URLs. The facts of help desk operation are probably familiar to anyone who has ever had to call one. You call up and tell us your problem, we write up a trouble ticket and attempt to do our best to solve it. But did you ever realize that there's a good reason why the advice you usually get is "format and reinstall"?

I remember a couple of years ago hearing people complain that all techs ever advised was to "format and reinstall". It seemed like a cop-out. "I don't really want to take the time to really solve your problem, so let's just fdisk your hard drive and start all over." But having heard many calls now, I realize that often that's the best advice you will get. You've added and removed hardware to the point where there is no "original" system left for me to go by. You've done the same with software. I have no way to tell how, or how well, you removed all traces of that software. Then you failed to install, update, or even use anti-virus software. You don't have a firewall, or have never configured it to do its job. So finally you call me...with your system full of spyware , adware, viruses, leftovers of extinct software and a few new pieces of hardware that may or may not have been installed properly. And since you're paying by the minute, you expect to have a solution, and a pristine system, within ten minutes or so. In that amount of time, I can probably tell that the only way you are ever going to get a factory-fresh system again is to format and reinstall your OS. Anything less is going to leave you with a vulnerable system that may or may not be fully healed. And you should remember, you were the one who inflicted the damage, not the help desk tech trying to help you. Don't get irritated with me because I can't undo in ten minutes what you've had months, perhaps years, to do.

As we've often said in both Scot's forum and in Lockergnome, the best habit you can develope when it comes to owning a personal computer is BACK UP YOUR DATA ON A REGULAR BASIS!! If it's important to you, make sure you have a backup copy somewhere besides on your hard drive. Then when you've finally gunked up your system to the point where I have no better option to suggest than that you format your hard drive and reinstall your OS, you will have everything important already preserved, and perhaps we can get your problem solved in just a few minutes.

Emotional Rollercoaster

This week has certainly taxed my emotional stability. Yesterday Sam and I said our final farewell (after he'd won about 8 more admirers at the Vet's office...I tell you, his eyes were magical) then today I received the phone call I've been waiting for over a year. An offer of a real, full-time job. It's a help desk position for Gateway Computers, and it's in the United States! 8-D The pay is half what I made at my last job, but I can live with that for the time being. I've never had a job where I stayed at my starting wage more than 3 months. Yes, I'm self-confident and aggressive in going after better positions. But I'm also more comfortable leading than following, and most of my former employers noticed that after a while. Considering the last two computers I've torn down to the motherboard and rebuilt have been Gateway's, I'm pretty familiar with their hardware. Now I've got to get back to boning up on my knowledge of Windows. I've been trying to learn Linux so much that I've somewhat neglected my Windows partition. No more. I've got 3 days to review my basic A+ stuff, then start on the really hard parts.
This is good for two reasons. I really did need a job, and a job in a field I'm already passionate about. More importantly, I needed a distraction from the empty porch...the missing bark of welcome...those eyes.

Sam's last week

Sam, my faithful Malamute mix, has passed his 14th, and last birthday. I adopted him as a two year old from an animal shelter in Idaho. I was helping out at the shelter in my free time. (I'd already learned how to avoid the temptation to adopt every unwanted cat that came through the place, going so far as to help with the process of euthanasia to cure my notion that every animal could be saved. Reality is often ugly, and I refuse to avoid the ugly parts. Without experiencing them, I can't fully appreciate the beautiful parts.) For more than two weeks this Mal-mix had sat in the shelter after being found running loose. When it became obvious no one would be coming to claim him, he was scheduled to be put down. But when I went into his enclosure to bring him out for the injection, I made the mistake of looking in his large brown eyes. Their was intelligence there, and a plea I couldn't ignore. That day he became Sam and joined my family.

As it always is with death, it can only be postponed, never avoided. For the last twelve years Sam has avoided his fate while being a wonderful and fun companion. Though most dogs his size are fortunate to live ten to twelve years, Sam has managed to hang on for a couple of extra. But now he's past the point of enjoying his existance. His rear legs can barely support him, his fur is starting to come out in clumps and he hardly moves. In short, his time is at an end. On the 18th, next Wednesday, we'll take one last road trip to the vets and he will cease having to endure the pain and disabilities that plague him now. Once more I'll be saying goodbye to a decade long friend. One of the saddest things about growing older is losing those close to you. Then one day, you are the one to leave your friends behind. It is an inescapeable fact of life. It begins, and it ends. I hope I leave with the grace and dignity Sam has shown. And as I've said many times, humans would be showing their true humanity if we allowed ourselves to bring a peaceful and quiet death to one another like we permit ourselves to do with our animal companions.

Sam and I will enjoy our last week together. Then he'll leave, yet live on in my memories and in my heart.

The rise of Technocracy

Chris Pirillo is going to kick off a new channel dealing with Technocracy soon, and he's going to allow me, Mike (my good buddy from Lockergnome), Georganna and David (fellow members of WebSanDiego) to be the initial contributors. So what the heck is a Technocracy channel? It's going to be a webblog and newsletter covering every aspect of the affect that the web has on our daily lives. We'll talk about how the Internet has impacted religion, government, business, education, the workplace, the schoolroom, even interpersonal relationships. If it's technology and it touches our lives, we'll dig up the stories and give you the links.
I'm excited about this because I've come to be quite interested in the future of technology in our lives. From the interactive home to the ability to communicate across physical borders, the Internet is going to have dramatic effects on our lives...so much more than it has already. Now that we have a vehicle that makes it possible for every person on the planet to have a voice, nothing will ever again be quite the same. Even the humble blog is becoming more than a way for anyone to share their thoughts and opinions with us all. It's becomming the "news source" of a wired generation. Stories will be blogged well before the major news outlets can get their stories written, polished and in the hands of their talking heads for the 6 o'clock broadcast. Blogs have become the new "Stars and Stripes" for our men and women in combat zones. We can now hear voices previously silenced by repressive governments.
Technocracy is the future. The Internet is the future. I think that's very kewl.

I'm looking under rocks now

This job search process is an exercise in futility at this point. If I wasn't depressed most of the time anyway, I'd be looking for high ledges with no guardrails about now. The cool thing about depression is, the longer you live with it (and I'm going on 21 years, so I know what I'm talking about), the better you learn to not only tolerate it, but actually make it work for you. Of course, that's on the good days, when things are going well. Not days like these.
When you're an atheist dealing with depression, every day can either be another pain in the butt to be dealt with as quickly and easily as possible, or a day when maybe, just maybe, the pieces will finally fall into place and the anxiety will disappear. No big-guy-in-the-sky is going to come down and make it all better. No motivation out of fear of eternal damnation...I'm getting a pretty good dose of that here. No reason to comb the yard for a four-leaf clover. Just me and the abilities that life has given me to face the big ugly monster of reality.
And the reality is, I need to find a job or in a very few months I'll be out there in your town with my laptop under my arm, Bob the cat trailing along behind...looking for an unoccupied freeway overpass.

Evil software

I've just spent nearly twelve hours spread over two days trying to get an AOL-DSL system back on its feet and Norton Internet Security 2004 loaded on the same system. I don't really know which is worse, AOL or Norton, but they both have top slots on my to-be-avoided-at-all-costs list.
At the beginning, the computer, running 98SE, had 126 viruses and 3 trojans to be dealt with. Protection amounted to a copy of Norton AV 2001whose latest virus definition was from February of this year. OK, only about two hours to get the AV updated and the viruses wiped out. The trojans took another hour or so. Meanwhile, the owner of this electronic waste dump had wandered off to attend to other matters, as unconcerned about what it was taking to repair all this damage as he was when doing the damage in the first place. Alone now, I decided to delete a few programs and see if I could somehow reclaim a bit more than the current 20% free disk space. I also deleted the outdated Norton. Cool, I'm up to 30% free space, run a quick defrag and I'm ready to install the new Norton. 45 minutes later and I'm still looking at only 40% defragmented. The sun is setting, the day is disappearing, my life is wasting away.
To hell with it. Cancel the defrag and start the Norton install. After the first install, I couldn't get online, all the desktop icons were dead and the system froze. All right, delete and reinstall. I have a rule of threes...installs and rebuilds will only work right after the 3rd attempt. Sure enough, the second install doesn't "take" either. Third install, nothing. Fourth, fifth and sixth the same. Screw this, it's staying uninstalled and I warn him not to go online until I figure this out.
Today I actually got Norton to install on the first attempt (of the day, anyway). Finally, AV is all in place and AOL actually goes online. I hate Norton. I hate AOL.

For all this I didn't get thanked or paid, but I did get to listen to the owner bitch about how frustrating all this was for him. (?)

Oh, did I mention this guy is family?

New friends

The other night the WebSanDiego bloggers had a meetup, and for the first time since becoming aware of the group, I was able to attend. Only 6 people showed up and we had a good time sharing our URLs with one another and discussing blogging in general. Perhaps the best part of the evening was making a new friend. Ali just moved here from Toronto, and originally hails from Persia. Ali is a very interesting man, with a great many interests and a profound knowledge of his home country's political and social issues. Talking to him for an hour or two was very enjoyable. I hope he can come to future meetings and I can learn more from him. If you read Persian, be sure to go by his blog and check it out. Even if you can't, you may enjoy the beauty of the Persian language as it's presented on his site.

Back in that sad hole, again

My apologies to Gene Autry and Ray Whitley.
So tomorrow is the last day of class. Set up Windows Server 2000 and a local network, a final exam...then it's all over, fini, done. Friday becomes another weekend day, then Monday I return to my latest occupation, professional resume submitter. At some point this weekend I'd like to get my resume posted to my website (www.jeber.net) so all you kind folk who are good enough to come by for a laugh or two can tell all your friends about my numerous talents and abilities and help me find gainful employment in this new arena I'm trying to enter, PC help desk or an entry level IT department. After years of management in the music, and before that, grocery industry...I'm eager to turn my passion for computers and the internet into a career. It's not an easy transition for me to make. I don't make a habit of jumping from job to job. My last two jobs lasted 8 and 13 years. so this is the first time in 9 years I've gone searching, and only the second time in 21 years. Obviously, I want to find the right job right away. Yet I know that in reality that's not likely to happen. As a former manager, I have a bit better idea of how companies function, and what elements of a job are the most important than many applicants. That might come in handy during future interviews. Humility aside, I really am a hard working, dedicated employee. And my time with both the forums I moderate and administer will give me an advantage when it comes to knowing what to expect from a customer service environment.
One way or the other, come Monday, I'll begin to get an idea of how well my hopes will be met. Wish me and all my fellow graduates good luck, won't you? 8-)

New Blogging tools and IM

Blogger is getting pretty fancy for a free publishing site. I have to give them a lot of credit for not restricting the new features to premium members only. Now you can write in bold letters, italics, color, add links within the body of your blog, adjust the layout, add bullets and blockquotes...just like a real word processor. They even offer a "remove formatting" tool. I'm truly impressed. Let's see if MT follows their lead.

It's too bad I don't have a lot to say tonight that would give me the chance to use all those goodies. But it's late and I'm pooped. We've been enjoying (?) a mini-heatwave here in Southern California, and there's nothing like moist heat to sap the energy right out of you.

One app I've been having fun with again the last couple of nights is instant messenging. I deleted every IM app from my computer over a year ago because that obnoxious little window would pop, up with a pointless conversation from someone I didn't really want to talk to anyway, at the most inconvenient times. It became such a distraction, I just eliminated the thing. Then recently, I began meeting people I really wanted to keep in touch with, and the easiest way turned out to be IM. But this time around I'm being more selective as to who can reach me. And another difference is that now I have Gaim, a great open source, cross-platform app. Last night I was chatting in real time with England on one tab, Illinois on another, and a friend about 8 blocks from here on a third. Tonight it was California, Illinois and Virginia. Ten years ago this either wouldn't have been possible, or would have racked up huge long distance bills. I've been rereading "Small Pieces Loosely Joined" by David Weinberger (highly recommended), and agree with him that at the core of the web is the hyperlink. But another worthy use is IM, if done politely and with content. This truly is a wired world, and communication has taken on a whole new meaning and dynamic. And I embrace it all.

Back to blogging

In my other blog today I quoted Kevin Marks' comments on what makes for an interesting blog, and as an editor at Technorati he should know. I also confessed that this blog doesn't meet the criteria of what even I would consider a worthwhile blog. Yet I persist in adding content to it, while refraining from recommending it as reading to anyone but my friends and family...and not even all of them.

At heart I am a writer. In high school I managed, until caught, to publish the first, and as far as I know only, underground newspaper ever distributed on that campus. I mimeographed copies of it in the teacher's lounge during lunch, passing them out freely the next day. In college I wrote both poetry and television screenplays. I'm the kind of guy who writes letters to the editors of local papers and gets them published. It's in my blood. The only thing I haven't tried is writing my elected representatives or the president. I like to know my writing, however poorly executed, will at least be seen. Writing to "The Hill" is an exercise in futility. I really don't need a machine-signed form-letter reply from the pres to hang on my wall, knowing damn well he never came within a mile of the computer screen my missive appeared on for its 5 seconds of life.

So I'll keep adding the occasional entry here, detailing my feelings about the oddities of life as I encounter them.

Obliged to blog?

Today at school we had one of those days that left me not even really wanting to get online once I got home. We were installing Windows NT then finding and downloading service packs and drivers then fdisking the rest of the drive in order to dual boot it with XP. NT was never the easiest OS to install, and today, with 12 other people all trying to accomplish the task with various degrees of success and frustration...just burned me out on anything to do with computers, at least for the day.
Yet, like a junkie, as soon as I had something to eat and a cup of coffee beside me, I couldn't resist the urge to log in and see what was happening. I found out...not much. So now I don't feel as bad as I type this out and prepare to power down and go read a book.
Ireally enjoy computing. I really enjoy Linux. But not every day. Not today.

My aim for this blog

My intention from this point on is to make this blog my more personal blog, while my other blog (http://jeberjabber.typepad.com) will be more geared toward comments on the news, ravings, and general jabberings. If by some chance I end up suffering from multiple personality disorder, I'll add more blogs as necessary.

Lack of Affection

One of those realizations that came to me only after getting a bit older is that I had a lot of misconceptions as a younger man. Among them was the notion that I just couldn't survive without sex. (Don't panic, I'm not going into details here.) When I was in my 20's, I couldn't imagine going for more than a week without having sex. I was sure I would never be able to live without it. Boy, was I wrong. And in being wrong, I learned a valuable lesson. It's not the sex you miss, it's the affection. Affection is an often ignored but vital part of our lives. While having a partner is perhaps the best source of affection, you can give and receive affection from almost everything around you. It's a state of mind that produces an emotion. An affectionate state of mind is one that appreciates the love and joy in life. It produces gentleness, kindness, peace of mind and caring. Not being affectionate makes a person mean, unhappy and unpleasant to be around. You can give affection to and receive affection from other people, animals, books, music, your job (believe it or not), a multitude of situations in your daily life.
So while I might be missing the sex I enjoyed as a youngster, I make sure that affection is present in every moment of my life. I was wrong about not being able to survive without sex, but I'm sure I wouldn't enjoy life half as much as I do without affection. It's something I don't want to do without.

Crises? What crises?

Even though I present this blog as thoughts on a cyber and real world mid-life crises, having reached the unplanned for age of 50 on my last birthday...it's even more the results of a life in turmoil. For the last 21 years, I've had two jobs (13 then 8 years) and lived in two places (Burley, ID and San Diego, CA). Now, for the first time in 21 years, I'm unemployed with no immediate prospects of another job in a city that's far too expensive to consider staying in unless something stable and well-paying comes along soon. A lot of the decisions I face these days are those I wouldn't be worrying about were I still employed. So it's less my age and more my economic situation that's causing me so much grief these days.

Add to that the fact I haven't been on a date, let alone enjoyed a solid relationship, in over 20 years, and you can understand why I keep my hair so short. I'd have pulled it all out by now otherwise. I used to say I was alone but not lonely. Well, screw that...now I'm lonely. Unfortunately, at the present time, I have little beyond my charming personality and my talent for imitating cartoon voices to recommend me. Oh well...life's been worse, and I'm sure it will be better. I just have to muddle through the present with high hopes for the future.