Possible side effects may include...

 I miss the Colbert Show. I miss Prescott Pharmaceuticals.

Here’s a list of some of the best side effects. And below, some of the funnier “Cheating Death” segments (starting with the first one where Colbert can’t keep a straight face, a rarity for him):

Hepatitis C++
Phantom Hand Syndrome
Vivid dreams of self-cannibalism
An inability to breathe on weekends
Bad humors
Chicken fingers
Oxford coma
Ukraine in the membrane
Atomic fireballs
Sleep waltzing
Night terriers
Creamed corneas
Stubble vision
Idris elbow
Male pattern Baldwin
Search and seizures
Hipster dysplasia
Highballs
Bud Light lime disease
Mathlete’s foot
Involuntary jowel movements
Abra cadaver
Brain whistle
Ice-splosions
Capillary yogurt
Abdominal salad shooters
REO Speedlung
Nostril inversion
Pituitary ferns
Skeletal xylophoning
Teriyaki lung
Elevated heart weight
Chinese firebones
Restless torso syndrome
Mild Hulk-ism
Minor heart explosions
Late-onset albinism

I Stand With...

 I see so many "I stand with..." almost always followed by a country. Well, and I say this as a veteran, I don't stand with any country. 

I will stand with the people, people everywhere. All humans belong to the same family. Beyond the influence of politics, nationalities, or religions, all humans are the same. We all want to live, to eat, to be healthy, to care for others. 

I stand with humanity. Fuck ideologies and political parties and the corporations.

The value of objectivity

“The decay and disintegration of this culture is astonishingly amusing if you are emotionally detached from it. I have always viewed it from a safe distance, knowing I don't belong; it doesn't include me, and it never has. no matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.”

― George Carlin, Brain Droppings 

It’s fashionable to claim to have hope in the future of America. All my liberal friends are rightfully concerned that that fat orange fuck might get reelected. If he does, game over. 

We’re already witnessing the end game of capitalism. It’s indisputable that everything on this planet has become a for-profit venture. Even our government is for sale. With every ten senators you buy, you get a Supreme Court justice at half price. Buy more and save. God is being ignored while money has taken his place. 

One advantage of having turned 70 this year is the realization that I have no stake in the future of this country or the world. I’ve done my part, I can’t do much more, and I don’t have a whole hell of a lot of time even if I could. I have no family to be concerned about. I have no vested interest in the future.

So like Mr. Carlin, I can objectively watch the end of capitalism, the end of democracy, the end of the human race, and feel no regret. We brought it on ourselves and we’ve spent thousands of years trying to avoid the consequences of our actions. I don’t hope for a positive outcome because I believe we deserve whatever happens. Good, bad, or neutral, we own it.

War of savages

In the world right now we have an example of war as fought in the 1940s and war as fought in 1 CE. They aren’t all that different. Atrocities, civilians as collateral damage, completedestruction of buildings and homes. 

It’s been said that while we can’t predict what sorts of weapons will be used in WWlll, we can be sure WWlV with be fought with stone spears.

Humans are a savage race. We’ve had to invent gods or elect despots to keep us from killing each other daily. Unless we continue to evolve mentally we will always be like this. Of course it’s not likely we’ll survive long enough to overcome our base tendencies. 

Who are the Americans?

Even though I use the terminology myself, lacking an accepted alternative, isn’t it time to stop calling people Native Americans and simply call them Americans? The rest of us are European Americans, African Americans, or South Americans. 

But the only people with a right to the un-hyphenated name Americans are those who were here before the colonization of the continent. 

Research

“In order to conduct our studies into what was killing the subjects, we had to kill several of the subjects to study them closely. After thorough tests and investigations, we have concluded the primary cause of death of the subjects are scientists who kill the subjects in an attempt to discover what was killing the subjects. Studies will continue in an effort to substantiate those findings.”

Las Vegas shouldn’t exist

Every day I see and hear people talking about the environment and how our society is failing to address important issues. 

Let’s look at Las Vegas, one of the most popular tourist destinations in America. 

Las Vegas is a city in the middle of a desert. No one with any sense would have considered building a house, let alone a city, in the middle of the Nevada desert in the 19th century.

Yet in the 20th century, a group of mobsters needed a way to launder their illegal gains, and gambling, already a popular addiction, was an easy way. All they needed was a friendly legislature and a sufficiently remote location that law enforcement was unlikely to bother them. 

Once Nevada realized the potential income from gambling and the mob, they were all in. In fact, brothels became legal as well. Las Vegas became a one-stop-shop for nearly all human vices.

These days Las Vegas is home to another American addiction, electric lights. Every day the Las Vegas strip consumes enough electricity to power a small town for a month. According to Utility Smarts, the Strip uses approximately 8000 megawatts of power every day. The MGM hotel alone spends $100,000 a month on electricity.

It’s not just the lights. Homes have been built around Las Vegas, and because it’s a desert community, air conditioning costs nearly equal the cost of lighting. 

On the face of it, Las Vegas shouldn’t exist. It’s a city built in an inhospitable desert by criminals exploiting human weaknesses to garner millions of dollars a day and demanding more power from the grid than can be justified.

And none of this occurs in secret or dark alleys. We all know about it. It’s legal while at the same time being frequently called immoral. The power and water wasted to support this can’t be justified as a social necessity. 

So while the West fights water wars, Las Vegas tourists and residents enjoy fountains and golf courses. While major cities suffer power outages, Las Vegas produces enough light to be visible from space day and night. While politicians lament the decline in morality, they thank god for the money that taxes and gambling provide the local economy. 

Las Vegas exposes the hypocrisy of Americans when it comes to the climate and social issues. We aren’t serious about changing our ways, not as long as there’s profit to be made.

I asked ChatGPT to expound on “chaos”

 And this is what I got 

“ Chaos: Unraveling the Tapestry of Disorder

In the vast tapestry of existence, chaos stands as a compelling thread woven into the fabric of our lives. It manifests in various forms, from the turbulent dance of atoms to the intricate complexities of society. Chaos is a profound and pervasive force that defies simple comprehension, an enigma that challenges our perception of order and unpredictability.

At its core, chaos denotes a state of disorder and unpredictability, where seemingly random events unfold without discernible patterns or rules. While the concept of chaos may conjure notions of confusion and turmoil, it is essential to recognize its role as a potent catalyst for change and innovation. Chaos acts as a crucible of creativity, birthing novel ideas and transformative breakthroughs when traditional structures fail to suffice.

In the natural world, chaos is evident in the chaotic beauty of fractals, where infinite patterns emerge from the simplest equations. The delicate butterfly effect, a cornerstone of chaos theory, exemplifies how a seemingly insignificant event can trigger a cascade of consequences with far-reaching impacts. Chaos lies hidden beneath the surface of seemingly ordered systems, waiting to emerge when conditions reach a tipping point, causing avalanches, stock market crashes, or even drastic weather changes.

Human society, too, is not impervious to the allure of chaos. In times of great social upheaval or revolution, chaos serves as a catalyst for transformative change. The dissolution of established norms and institutions opens the door for new ideologies and social structures to take root. However, unchecked chaos can lead to anarchy and destruction, highlighting the delicate balance required to harness its potential without descending into the abyss of disorder.

Creativity thrives in the realm of chaos, as artists, writers, and thinkers often draw inspiration from the cacophony of life's unpredictability. Chaos unleashes the power of imagination, freeing minds from the shackles of routine and predictability, and enabling the birth of revolutionary ideas that shape the course of human history.

Yet, for all its allure and potential, chaos remains an elusive concept to grasp fully. Attempts to predict chaos have led to complex mathematical models and simulations, but its innate nature resists definitive comprehension. Embracing chaos requires a willingness to surrender control, to accept that some aspects of life lie beyond the confines of our understanding. In this acceptance lies the potential for growth, adaptability, and resilience in the face of uncertainty.

Moreover, chaos is not an isolated force but interconnected with order, creating a dynamic dance of opposites. Order and chaos coexist and intermingle, each giving rise to the other. Life itself emerges from the delicate interplay of these opposing forces, where chaos provides the raw materials for evolution, while order imparts stability and structure.

In conclusion, chaos stands as an enthralling force that weaves through the fabric of existence, challenging our perceptions and inviting us to explore the boundaries of knowledge. Embracing chaos is an acknowledgment of the limits of our understanding and a testament to the ever-changing nature of life. When we learn to dance with chaos rather than resist it, we discover the hidden symphony within the chaos, and therein lies the potential for growth, creativity, and transformation.”