My fellow Americans, today I am privileged to accept the role of CEO of America Incorporated.
As you may remember, we replaced the outdated system of government we had labored under for too many years in 2012 with the election of a business man rather than continuing to allow lawyers to run our nation. The Supreme Court helped pave the way by declaring corporations to be individuals which made it possible for large businesses and wealthy individuals to exert an influence in the political realm denied to them previously. They were able to convince the American people that our country would be far better off being run as a company rather than to allow political parties to set the course for our future.
Once we incorporated the nation we found many of our most basic problems were solved.
The economy became a much easier to understand system of profit/loss statements. When we closed the Internal Revenue Service and replaced it with a system of payroll withholdings from America's employees, formerly referred to as citizens, contributions to the bottom line increased and tax evasion was virtually eliminated. Every employee contributed their fair share based solely on their earnings which removed the inequity inherent under the taxation policy.
Social inequality was eliminated as well when we declared all Americans were employees. This was a concept we could all easily grasp. No longer did we have the poor, the middle class and an upper class, groups with poorly defined boundaries. A system with owners, managers and workers was one we were familiar with and had clearly defined job descriptions. The ability to move from the workforce to management is possible based on an employee's contributions and knowledge. No one is forced to remain in the same position in society their parents held. And by declaring all former citizens as employees we have done away with the concept of unemployment. Everyone legally living in America Incorporated is an employee, and every employee has a job. Anyone who refuses to work is fired and asked to leave the organization, a fair and equitable situation.
We have further increased social equality by doing away with entitlements and the unprofitable practice of private ownership. In America Incorporated all assets are owned by the company and employees earn the right to use them. An employee's lifestyle is commensurate with their willingness to work. The more you contribute to the company the more the company rewards your efforts.
By running America as a business we've been able to eliminate all political governments. We no longer have to deal with multiple levels of bureaucracy, no longer have to put up with petty dictators more concerned with preserving their positions of power than helping our society move forward. By treating the former states as franchise partners, we have established central policies and administration that apply to every employee where ever they may live. It's true that several former states chose not to franchise themselves with America Incorporated, and it's their own fault that they were quickly purchased by foreign entities that could better afford to run them as businesses. Seeing as how we enjoy full trade relations with the Chinese owners of Idaho and both North and South Montana as well as Spanish California, our bottom line has only been strengthened by the loss of those territories. We have more assets to share among our remaining employees and more buyers for our manufactured goods.
The return on your investment in America Incorporated has been improved by replacing politicians with proven industry leaders. Our CFO has had over 30 years experience managing the finances of major Fortune 500 companies. Our CIO has held senior positions in information technology and public communications. The head of our Human Relations department has spent her entire working life in that field and has shown herself to be a capable manager. Employees deal directly with her staff, whether they need to set up their medical benefits or ask for a change in their schedule. No longer do people have to deal with their company, then their city government, then their state government and finally the federal government. All that bureaucracy has been streamlined by establishing America Incorporated as the only company we all work for.
Remember, you're not just employees of America Incorporated, you're also shareholders. Rather than paying dividends management reinvests profits to provide a higher return which is reinvested in the company. This allows us to provide our employees with the best available benefits and to preserve and improve our infrastructure.
Like any company that wishes to maximize profits and minimize loss, our employees are monitored to ensure compliance with corporate policies. This is done through a variety of methods, including CCTV and drone aircraft, as well as random monitoring of electronic communications. We do this to ensure all employees are working for the common good of America Incorporated and not abusing their positions of responsibility for personal gain. Employees found to be in violation of corporate policy will be counselled and if necessary, their employment will be terminated.
We have every confidence that America Incorporated will be proven to be a far superior form of governance than our previous experiment with a democratic republic. During my ten-year term as CEO I will do all I can to ensure maximum profitability for the corporation. I will do everything possible to ensure the profits are shared fairly among all employees in proportion to their commitment to the corporation.
I thank you all for your attention to this broadcast. You may now return to your regular duties. May God show his favor with our efforts.
I'm going to present my not-totally pessimistic scenario of where I see America headed in the near future. These are all assumptions, my opinions, and you are welcome to challenge any or all of them.
First, the conditions that underlie my scenario:
- Nothing of any significance will occur nationally or socially to improve Obama's popularity between now and the 2012 election. The approval rating bump he got from killing Bin Laden and the one he'll get by pulling the troops out of Iraq won't last long enough to push him anywhere near 50%.
- The Democrats will only grudgingly support Obama in 2012. He's lost a lot of favor with Democrats over failed promises and his ineffectiveness in standing up against Republicans. I see a change in vice-presidential running mate in 2012 but don't see a possible candidate for the job that would assure a Democratic victory at the polls.
- By the end of 2011 a clear leader will emerge from the pack of Republican candidates that most if not all Republicans can support.
- The Tea Party and "Occupy" movement will both remain marginalized and won't have a real impact on the presidential race.
2012-2015
In 2012 the Republican candidate will win the presidency. I think this will happen due in part to Democratic apathy over Obama's presidency and the Republican's appeal to God, patriotism and financial stability, all of which resonate with the majority of voters right now. Specific plans for improvement won't be forthcoming, but that will be excused in 2012 for the same reason they were in 2008; Any change from the current situation has to be better than imagining a continuation of our current economic and social problems.
A more fundamental form of Christianity will flourish under the new administration. Science, especially in education, will be less emphasized and more effort will be put into integrating Christian dogma and principles into government and education. The concept of a separation between church and state will largely be ignored solely in favor of Christianity.
Conservatism will be the rule in economics and policy making, except in the case of military expansion. Entire federal departments will be eliminated or under-funded into non-existence in an effort to save the federal budget, with little or no thought as to how vital programs to millions will continue.
Abortion will once again be outlawed in most if not all cases. Most if not all wildlife areas and national parks will be opened to resource exploitation. Little or no effort will be put into weaning Americans off their dependency on oil. Instead new oil deposits will be sought and/or new alliances to obtain foreign oil will be created.
The economy will slightly improve for just enough Americans for the government to take credit for having stopped our decline into economic disaster. Thanks primarily to efforts to reduce the role of legislation in our lives, the same industries that created the problem in the first place will continue to conduct their businesses unregulated and unhampered. Fewer rules will be imposed on businesses, so wages will decrease and part-time work will prevail. Benefits will be available for only those few full-time jobs that remain. Profits will still be banked off-shore and even larger tax breaks will be given to big businesses. America will shift from being a nation "of the people, by the people, for the people" to one "of the corporations, by the corporations, for the corporations".
Individual liberties will continue to erode. The threat of foreign and domestic terrorism will continue to be used as an excuse to employ tighter controls on the activities and movements of the citizens. The underlying xenophobia in the immigration issue will be used to excuse law enforcement from observing search-and-seizure laws and ignore the need for warrants. With the practices of Abu Ghraib as precedent, arrests and detainment without cause and without due process will be allowed in "certain" cases, and slowly expanded to any case in which the local, state or federal government can claim just cause, even secretly. Privacy will lessen to the point of non-existence. Phone and Internet traffic will all be routinely monitored, though it will still be nearly impossible for any government agency to properly assess the intelligence gathered as there will simply be too much to sort out. Key words will become the favored tool of the monitors and citizens will learn not to use certain words at all, just as we've learned how foolish it is to joke about hijacking a plane in the airport.
Programs such as Medicare and Medicaid will be abolished as too expensive. Seniors will become a huge burden on society and many families will go broke trying to care for their elders. College tuitions will increase resulting in most middle and lower income class kids not attending college. Families will have to deal with stay-at-home kids in addition to caring for their parents and grandparents. The personal option of elective euthanasia will not be a legal alternative for the elderly.
During this period the Democrats will remain largely ineffective in saving vital social services, protecting the rights of citizens or in improving the economy. They will continue to lack the resolve and power to challenge the Republicans on almost every issue. They will snipe and complain, but that's about all they'll do.
2015-2016
The promises of the Republicans to right the economy will be seen as efforts only to enrich the already wealthy, their biggest supporters, and corporations. The citizens will not be any better off financially than they were in 2010. The citizens will also realize that the freedoms they've sacrificed have not made our nation any safer nor have they contributed to the quality of their lives. After three years of entitlement, Christians will in large numbers become politically apathetic and the Republicans will lose the support of many big churches. The Republican's transparent support of big business will become a burden for those same businesses as their own employees begin to revolt against them. Businesses will consider it in their own best interest to provide better working conditions for all their employees and they will blame the Republicans for fostering the anger towards them. Businesses will also suffer from a less well educated work force. Any industry that relies on mathematical, engineering or scientific skills will be especially hit hard by the low numbers of college graduates with those skills. Meanwhile fast food franchises will appear on every block in every town just to take advantage of the huge number of unemployed, willing-to-do-anything-for-a-paycheck people of all ages.
But those who decide to no longer back the Republicans won't have much of a viable option. During the previous three years the Democrats will have failed to develop any realistic strategies of their own for fixing what ails America. Indeed, the majority of Americans may have, by this point, concluded there is no way to fix all the problems facing their nation.
The elections of 2016 may be the end of business as usual for America. With neither major party trusted and no emergent party with enough power to exercise change, Americans could very well lose all hope that the country will ever again be financially solvent and the home of freedom and liberty. At that point its likely that America will become a true corporatetocricy, owned by and run as a corporation. Citizens will be considered employees and the federal budget will be based solely on profits.
2017 could be a very interesting year in the (if they still are) United States.
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