In my 70 years I have:
- lived as a blond-haired, blue-eyed, left-handed bisexual
- been a competitive roller skater in junior high
- published a radical left "underground" newsletter in high school
- sat in a dark office with a gun aimed at a door for 12 hours overnight in my first security job.
- pulled an elderly couple out of their burning apartment on that same job
- met numerous celebrities as a security guard at Sheraton Island Hotel
- met even more celebrities working at Sam Goody
- ridden shotgun in a police car at 134mph on the Coronado Strand
- ridden from San Diego to Los Angeles in an armored car with $4 million in bearer bonds
- experienced both sides of handcuffs
- worked only the graveyard shift on a freight crew in Idaho for 13 years
- driven from Idaho to Texas twice, Idaho to San Diego once, and across the country once
- have fostered a female gray wolf for Idaho F&G
- raised a number of non-venomous snakes
- been rear-ended by a construction F-250 resulting in a broken neck
- banked $86,000 in a settlement with their insurance company
- worked on help desks for Gateway computers and D-Link
- been blogging since 2003
- outlived my best friend, my best dog, and at least one former girlfriend
- spent the last 48 years as a celibate, no regrets
- wondered how much longer this journey will last
In the scale of embarrassing place names, Crapstone ranks pretty high.
But Britain is full of them. Some are mostly amusing, like Ugley, Essex; East Breast, in western Scotland; North Piddle, in Worcestershire; and Spanker Lane, in Derbyshire.
Others evoke images that may conflict with residents’ efforts to appear dignified when, for example, applying for jobs.
These include Crotch Crescent, Oxford; Titty Ho, Northamptonshire; Wetwang, East Yorkshire; Slutshole Lane, Norfolk; and Thong, Kent. And, in a country that delights in lavatory humor, particularly if the word “bottom” is involved, there is Pratts Bottom, in Kent, doubly cursed because “prat” is slang for buffoon.
As for Penistone, a thriving South Yorkshire town, just stop that sophomoric snickering.
“Sniggering at double entendres is a loved and time-honored tradition in this country,” Carol Midgley wrote in The Times of London. Ed Hurst, a co-author, with Rob Bailey, of “Rude Britain” and “Rude UK,” which list arguably offensive place names — some so arguably offensive that, unfortunately, they cannot be printed here — said that many such communities were established hundreds of years ago and that their names were not rude at the time.
“Place names and street names are full of history and culture, and it’s only because language has evolved over the centuries that they’ve wound up sounding rude,” Mr. Hurst said in an interview.
