35 Rules for Good Writers

1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)
6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
7. Be more or less specific.
8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually)
unnecessary.
9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10. No sentence fragments.
11. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used unless you don't want to seem too formal.
12. Foreign words and phrases are not always apropos.
13. Do not use more words, phrases, sentences, or other linguistic elements than you, yourself, actually really and definitely need to use or employ when expressing yourself or otherwise giving voice to what you may or may not be thinking when you are trying to say how many words you should use or not use when using words.
14. One should NEVER generalize.
15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
16. Don't use no double negatives.
17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, i.e. etc.
18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20. The passive voice is to be ignored.
21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
22. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
23. Kill excessive exclamation points!!!
24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others elude to them.
25. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth shaking ideas.
26. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.
27. Eliminate distracting quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson is said to have once remarked, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
28. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
29. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
30. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
31. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
32. Who needs rhetorical questions?
33. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
And finally...
34. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

Teen Sells 17328 Boxes of Girl Scout Cookies

This item was stuck in between the OMG and WTF files:

Thin Mints, Samoas and Do-Si-Dos have helped a 15-year-old Girl Scout not only satisfy thousands of hungry tummies desiring the perfect sweet treat, but has also helped fund Jennifer Sharpe’s trip to Europe. The Michigan teen sold an amazing 17.328 boxes of Girl Scout cookies, a number that likely set a national record. Sharpe peddled her irresistible cookie collection on street corners and raised about $21,000, enough cookie dough (hee hee) to fund Troop 813’s 10-day trip to Europe.

Who needs a cat tree?

 
Cats never cease to amaze me. I have no idea how Lizbeth can get onto the second shelf above the toilet without causing anything on the rack above her to fall over. I envy her grace.

On the downside, I'm going to have to launder those towels again.

In the dark

A slice of (real) life

Question of the day

The compliment of suburban is urban.

Why isn't the compliment of a suburb an urb?

Code Monkey Dance

I ran across this video on The Uncredible Hallq's blog and enjoyed it so much I had to share. I cannot fathom why I like it, I just do. I think I'll do the Code Monkey dance at random moments at work tomorrow.

First impressions

Poking a little fun at some of my favorite tech bloggers. Click on the image to view.

S'truth

Trying too hard

Every President's Day local companies produce ads to entice buyers to purchase their products. Nothing unusual about that. What amazes me is the length some stores will go to in order to relate their product to the presidents. How do you sell furniture in relation to a federal holiday celebrating two U.S. presidents? You offer "presidential-sized savings". Are those Taft sized savings (he was so fat, weighing 330 pounds, that he got stuck in the White House bathtub) or are they only James Madison sized (5 feet 4 inches tall and weighed under 100 pounds)?

What the hell, presidential-sized saving? And we wonder at the illiteracy rates among our children.

Four faces of Samuel Barber

One of my favorite classical pieces is Samuel Barber's Adagio for Strings. It is in turn melancholic, inspirational, profound and restful. I've put together four videos featuring different musician's interpretation of this beautiful melody.


I can't honestly say I prefer one to the other. In their own way each version illustrates another facet of the work.


The first is the traditional, classical version. Second, a vocal version performed by The Choir of Trinity College,Cambridge,UK.Directed by Richard Marlow. Third, an electronic interpretation by William Orbit and finally, Dj Tiesto presents the Adagio in a techno style.


I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

Jeber loves LOLcatz

You can now order a book of the original LOLcat cartoons from the original artist.

Limited edition signed drawing copy of Meet the Laugh-Out-Loud Cats, available from Hobotopia.

Kubuntu on an HP dv2000

I recently got an HP dv2410us and finally got tired of Vista, so I wiped the drive and installed Kubuntu 7.10. I was jazzed, all the major components worked immediately.

The only hardware that didn't work was the built-in webcam (no great loss), my bluetooth mouse (OK, I have a USB one as well) and the wireless (uh-oh).

It just so happened I was on my way to the KDE 4.0 release event at Google the next weekend, so I left it alone and waited to see if one of the great minds there could offer a suggestion.

To my surprise and pleasure, I had two great minds take a look at it. Jonathan Riddell (Jonathan is the only Canonical employee who works full-time with the Kubuntu project and is the lead maintainer and KDE developer) and a VP from AMD both examined my laptop and reached the disappointing conclusion that the Broadcom chipset in it is too new for Linux to have developed drivers for it.

So now I'm dual-booting Kubuntu with Vista and have the best of both worlds (well, on the Windows side that's open for debate).

My visit to Nirvana

 
I just got back from three days at the Google campus attending the release event for the Linux KDE version 4.0 desktop. The event itself was great. I got to meet quite a few very smart people from all over the world, united by our interest in Linux and the KDE desktop manager. But I don't think any of us could get over the fact that we were at Google, geek heaven, the holy of holies for the internet crowd.

We were "asked" not to say much about the Google campus, so I'm afraid I can't go into much detail about the place. We were not allowed to take pictures inside, only outside and only when accompanied by Google security or staff. Let's just say that having spent a few years working at the NSA I didn't feel that out-of-place at the Googlplex.

Vote for Stephen

Marimo-All About a Dog

For anyone who has ever lived with, and loved, a dog.

BBC NEWS | Obituary: Oscar Peterson

One of the jazz world’s greats has died. Oscar Peterson was a truly gifted pianist. He’ll be missed by all of us who love jazz.
BBC NEWS | Entertainment | Obituary: Oscar Peterson

Lessons learned...the hard way

1) Do not under any circumstances microwave a full cup of coffee with sugar already added.

2) Keep a roll of paper towels handy near the microwave.

3) Do not attempt to drink the coffee you made in the process of learning rule #1.

Do not push the Red Button

Put The Big Red Button on your site

Polish off your week

...with this music video. Everybody, on put your shoes for dancing into disco.



Don't blame me if this gets stuck in your head all weekend.

Microsoft shuts down Santa for talking dirty

And Bill O'Reilly's upset about store clerks who say, "Happy Holidays"?

Microsoft Corp. quickly shut down Santa Claus’ Web privileges after it found out the automated elf it created for kids to instant message with was talking naughty, not nice.

(MSNBC is a joint Microsoft - NBC Universal venture.)

Last year, Microsoft encouraged kids to connect directly to “Santa” by adding northpolelive.com to their Windows Live Messenger contact lists. The Santa program, which Microsoft reactivated in early December, asked children what they wanted for Christmas and could respond on topic, thanks to artificial intelligence.

The holiday cheer soured this week when a reader of a United Kingdom-based technology news site, The Register, reported that a chat between Santa and his underage nieces about eating pizza prompted Santa to bring up oral sex.

One of the publication’s writers replicated the chat Monday. After declining the writer’s repeated invitations to eat pizza, a frustrated Santa burst out with, “You want me to eat what?!? It’s fun to talk about oral sex, but I want to chat about something else.”

The exchange ended with the writer and Santa calling each other “dirty bastard.”

Microsoft spokesman Adam Sohn said the company’s engineers tried to clean up Santa’s vocabulary, but even after making changes to the software, the company wasn’t comfortable keeping him online.

“It’s not like if you say, ’Hello Santa,’ he’s going to throw inappropriate stuff at you,” said Sohn.

Sohn said Santa’s lewd comment was sparked by someone “pushing this thing to make it do things it wasn’t supposed to do.”

Santa is just one of many “agents,” or automated IM programs, that computer users can chat with on Live Messenger. Some are useful — customer service agents, for example — while others are frivolous, like an alien that responds to IMs with burbling extraterrestrial noises. Sohn said some of the bots are programmed to fend off inappropriate messages.

“If they’re meant to be cheeky and have fun with you, they may repeat certain things back,” he said, or respond to certain words with “that’s naughty.”

Sohn said Microsoft was not aware that the Santa code included the foul language, but insisted the company did not suspect an employee prank.

Microsoft disabled Santa Tuesday. On Wednesday, northpolelive.com appeared to be online in one reporter’s essenger contact list, but Santa did not respond to her messages.

(Source)

This almost makes Vista seem benign.

Just because it's Thursday

OH HAI HAPPY THANSGIBBEN!

Critters

I've been trying to familiarize myself with my new video camera. Here's a recent test starring two of my roommates.

Good news at Computerworld Magazine

I have it on very good authority that Computerworld Magazine is naming Scot Finnie as the next editor in chief.

I'm very happy for Scot. In addition to being a very good friend of mine, he's a dedicated and hard-working writer with an absolute passion for the computer industry. He has written with great foresight on the re-emergence of the Mac as well as the problems Microsoft has had creating enthusiasm for Vista in the business world.

The current editor in chief, Don Tennant, is an excellent writer and very bright fellow. He has spent time at the National Security Agency, as have I, and no doubt we both came by our fascination with the world of computing from that assignment. I further have no doubt that he could find no one more qualified and worthy to hand his reigns to than Scot.

I know Computerworld Magazine will only improve under Scot's skillful guidance. I wish him and his family all the best as he begins his new assignment.

Red sky at night

A shot taken this evening of the sun setting through the smoke of San Diego's wildfires. I am in what has become the center of the unburned area. All around us, North, East and South, wildfires are burning out of control. If any of them reach the ocean, we will be completely surrounded by fire.

The air smells of smoke and ash is falling like dust. My co-worker is among the thousands that have been evacuated from their homes ahead of the approaching inferno. Luckily, I live in an area of the city not threatened.

With the lack of rain recently, I think we all knew the likelihood of wildfires was great this year. But I doubt any of us could have predicted just how severe the situation would become.

San Diego doesn't "get" mass transit

It's a shame that in a city as large as San Diego mass transit isn't more popular than it is. While the numbers of riders has increased, still the majority of San Diegans drive their own cars. Yet the transportation board is in large part responsible for the lack of mass transit usage.

Bus routes are confusing and often don't service the areas most in need of public transportation. The MTB fails to properly police its vehicles, violence and disturbances are common on the buses and trollies. And now, instead of making buses and the trolly more accessible, they are determined to further erode its user base.

On Thursday, across-the-board fare hikes were proposed at a Metropolitan Transit System hearing, as was the possibility of eliminating bus and trolley transfers.

Despite the fact that San Diego's buses and trolleys are attracting more riders than ever, officials said finances are stretched thin and that they may be forced to increase fare prices.

"My concern is: Why go up, when I can barely get around now?" said bus rider Sherry Madison.Officials with the MTS said they are dealing with a $9 million deficit."There are 100 people here today, and we agree with their messages," said Rob Schupp of the MTS. "We don't want to eliminate services. We don't want to raise fares. That's not what we're all about, but we don't have many choices."

Some critics, though, said that raising fares was not the way to find money to solve the problem."They're trying to cut corners wherever they can, but you shouldn't look to … poor people and working-class people who are serving the community to hit them with that burden," said Marlena Lewis of Citizens for Effective Transportation.

"It's an unjust situation."Among the proposals being floated are increasing the local service price by a quarter this year and another 25 cents next year. Also changing would be the monthly pass, which could jump from $60 to $68 over the next two years.

One of the most controversial changes, though, has nothing to do with raising fares. Instead, it is the elimination of transfers."I think eliminating the transfer system -- after people in San Diego for so long have become accustomed to that method of the transfer system -- is something that does not need to occur now," Lewis said.MTS officials said that some people are cheating the transfer system, so they are mulling its elimination in favor of a $5 day pass."A number of agencies around the country are eliminating the transfers and going to the day pass," Schupp told NBC 7/39. "It's much simpler to administrate, simpler to sell, it's simpler to enforce."

The MTS board approved the rate hikes and transfer-elimination proposals on Thursday. Now, the proposals must be green-lighted the San Diego Association of Governments, which will vote on the plan on Friday.

(Source)

All the Googles in Googleville...

So here's how I see my future;

I've accomplished the first step. I've sold my soul to Google. In exchange, I received a gmail account, a spot on Orkut, a Blog on Blogger and unlimited access to Google/Froogle/Google images, groups and news. I have heard that others have received these same benefits without bartering their soul, but I cannot confirm these rumors, and besides, I wasn't using mine anyway, so it wasn't a big deal.

In the next few years, after Google buys up Microsoft and Intel, and owns a controlling amount of stock of the internet, they'll want their piece of the real world. Real estate, literally. So somewhere in the mid-West will blossom Googleville, a beta community. I, of course, will be among the first in line to apply for residence. Landscaping be damned, we'll all be in our lovely Googlehomes, sitting in front of our GoogleMachines computers with broadband access via our Google ISP, 24 hours a day. Blooging this, gmailing that, searching for even more entertainment. Once a week I'll trek down to GoogleMart for my supplies, maintaining my net connection with my Googleberry device. On the way back I'll stop to fill the tank of my Googlemobile at GoogleGas, then hurry back home to surf/blog/email/search some more.

Soon I'll be at Mecca, Google headquarters, heaven on Earth. I shall bathe in Googloodness. I shall feast on Googlisms. I shall share my dream of the future and secure my place in it. I will be reborn as BetaBoy©, a registered Google property.

Behold, I am Googlfied.

Ah, could my future be any brighter?

Taste testing and KDE

I get a lot of fun invitations and I try to attend most of the events to which I'm invited. This week I received two invitations that exemplify the range of those I receive.

Shortly I'll be taking part in a taste testing for Jack in the Box, a San Diego corporation. I believe they intend to introduce some new salads to their menu and want feedback from regular customers. Sad to say, I am fully qualified. There's a JitB far too close to the store where I work and I find myself there several times a week to scarf up a quick lunch. I used to be a bit of a health nut, but I find as I get older attempting to preserve my youthful appearance and vigor are less easy to justify. That's not to say I've allowed myself to totally go to hell, it just means when Jack invites me to taste his new salads, I'm pleased to accept.

The other invitation I received is far more exciting. I get to attend the official launch of KDE 4.0 (that's the Linux K Desktop Environment) at one of the shrines in Geekdom.

This is an official invitation to the KDE 4.0 Release Event at
Mountain View, California. This event is being held to celebrate the
release of KDE's latest computing environment, KDE 4.0. Alongside
numerous KDE community members, this event has been opened to our
industry partners, and members of the press. This is an opportunity
to take a closer look at the KDE 4.0 release, and mingle with the KDE
community at large. Presentations will be held on the architecture of
KDE 4.0, prominent KDE applications, KDE's various communities and
plans for the future. This event provides an invaluable opportunity
for members of the press, I.T. industry and the KDE community to meet
in person and discuss the free software movement.

Where: The Google Headquarters, Mountain View, California
Hotel: The Wild Palms Hotel, Mountain View, California
When: January 17th to 19th, 2008.

Hotel rooms have been kindly sponsored by Google for those with
official invitations, and all event meals will be catered. The only
thing you need to do is get there!

Oh, I'll be there alright. My deepest thanks to Chris Pirillo for the invitation. He obviously knows my interests.

It seems over 90% of the social events I attend are technology related. I couldn't be more pleased. After all, I've got to keep my inner geek well fed.

My new wheels

My new ride.  Hell on wheels at 25MPH. So much fun.

gigapan: GigaPan allows users to upload, share, and explore brilliant gigapixel+ panoramas from around the globe.

gigapan: GigaPan allows users to upload, share, and explore brilliant gigapixel+ panoramas from around the globe.

Ever wish you could do more with your digital camera? Here's a site that should fire up your imagination. Contribute your images and create a gigapixel panorama. You can also view panoramas on Google Earth. This is truly awesome technology.

A beautiful case mod

This is perhaps the most fantastic, beautiful and envy-worthy case mod I've ever come across. About all I know about it is that is was built in Europe, it's a water-cooled PC in the steampunk style. I'm in desperate geek-love with this machine. If anyone can read the source forum entry and can add any more info on this work of tech art, please do.

Tired guy and fat cat

I thought I'd post a couple of shots from the somewhat more organized cottage. Speaking of images, check out http://play.blogger.com/. You can watch real-time as images are uploaded to Blogger accounts. It's rather fascinating.

New haircut but need a shave:


A few of the jazz CDs I've unpacked:


A novel way to store the classical CDs:





Fat cat by herself:

Two songs for Maryjane

She wanted me to hear this one;







and I wanted her to hear this one;







To round out this Incubus moment, here's one we both understand;

Freedom for the Internet

Today I offer Henry Rollins, as profane and angry as George, with a different slant on the topic. Language Warning; profane and opinionated.

Who Owns You?

George Carlin is a hero of mine. Not because he's smarter than everyone else, not because he's more successful than everyone else. Carlin, like Lenny Bruce before him, has the courage and insight to say the things we don't want to hear, to tie together the threads of thought we're often too distracted by daily life to put together ourselves. Carlin says what ought to be said, what needs to be said, whether we want to hear it or not. He presents the alternative view to the news broadcasts, the television commercials, the pronouncements from the government. His is the clear vision of the common man. And nowhere does he cut to the quick deeper than in the following video from one of his concerts. Be warned, Carlin's routine contains many words you won't want your children to hear, and quite a few obscenities as well. Carlin's objective has always been to make people think for themselves. I hope this video causes you to think.

Everything Old is New Again

A very good friend of mine inspired me to read back through this blog today, and I happened across this entry, created 3 years ago to the month. Amazing. I find myself in nearly the same position once again.

My Mom is currently in the hospital and soon to be living in an assisted-care facility, so I'm being forced to consider moving, which will entail finding a new job as well. Since I moved her in with me 3 years ago, her retirement pay has gone toward offsetting the rent here. That support is ending, as we need to divert funds to her care now. The pay I receive, while above minimum wage, is insufficient to allow me to rent another place in the ridiculously expensive city.

I hope this doesn't become a habit; every three years having to post that I'm soon to be homeless and unemployed.

These are times that try men's souls, as it were. If I were ever to doubt my atheistic conclusions, days like this provide the opportunity. How nice it would be to think that some super-being would swoop in and make everything better. How comforting it would be to dump all my problems in the cosmic lap of this being and expect him to fix them. But I'm not tempted at all. Reality may not be all that comforting or pleasant, but it is reality. I will muddle through this current situation much as I always have, depending on myself and my friends and family to find a resolution. No guarantees, no promises, no hope in mythical beings. I can only be determined and thankful for the help I get.

The Internet Crash of 2007

The Onion outdoes CNN...

Follow your dream

There are people who don’t always fit into society as smoothly as others. They are the ignored, the passed-by, the unimportant. Those are seldom attributes they assign themselves; they’re assigned by others.

But then there are those who have found the nugget of value within themselves. Paul Potts is one of those. He’s not especially attractive. He got bullied in school. He could easily have become bitter, disillusioned and withdrawn. Instead he uncovered a talent, an absolutely beautiful voice, and despite being a mobile-phone salesman, he gathered up the courage to risk humiliation by sharing his ability with the world. And the world is better off for that.

Please allow yourself to enjoy this too short video, and let it encourage you to follow your own dream.

Blogged with Flock

Computer Dominoes

A different kind of computer crash...

Weemee

Oliver kicks back

 
In two short months, Oliver has adapted to his new home admirably. He already has a favorite chair and a favorite blanket. It doesn't appear he finds KPBS mentally stimulating.

Penguin Pete's Blog - 10 Signs you've been using Firefox too long...

Penguin Pete's Blog - 10 Signs you've been using Firefox too long...
Penguin Pete offers the following 10 signs you've been using Firefox too long...

1. You sit right next to a window but you still just look at your ForecastFox icon to see what it's like outside.

2. You fumble with the TV remote for a minute before remembering that you can't open another channel in a new tab.

3. Everybody else says "Google it" now, but in addition you can also Yahoo it, Wiki it, and eBay it.

4. Your sole measure of a celebrity's popularity is whether they appear on Stumble-Upon.

5. You have to think hard to remember what a pop-up or a banner ad looks like.

6. You think Debian should have backed down on the whole Iceweasel thing.

7. Your distaste for Internet Explorer has branched into an irrational phobia of the letter 'e'.

8. You message your spouse through ChatZilla to find out what's for dinner instead of just going upstairs.

9. A web page without CSS looks naked to you.

10. Your spelling used to be terrible until version 2.0 came out.

I refuse to say how many and which of those apply to me, but it's more than one.

Blogger's Blues

I guess for some geeks, nothing could be more depressing, more disheartening, than to do everything they can think of to increase their blog's audience and interest - submitting site maps to Google, studying SEO tips, posting every 13 minutes - and then see a Google Alert for blogs return a result like the following;

First post- why blog?
ProgressiveU.org - San Mateo,CA,USA
My name is Kaylen and this is my first blog. I'm going to write about WHY I made this blog, and why I am planning on writing in it each day. ...

It makes me just want to slash my wrists.

Well, not me...I meant the hypothetical blogger I mentioned above.

Blogging for bloggers

I've been reading a lot of comments from internet pundits lately predicting that 2007 will be the year that blogging will reach its zenith in popularity.

The blogging phenomenon is set to peak in 2007, according to technology predictions by analysts Gartner.
The analysts said that during the middle of next year the number of blogs will level out at about 100 million.
The firm has said that 200 million people have already stopped writing their blogs.

BBC News

Since I'm notoriously oblivious to most trends, I'm choosing to ignore this one as well. While I might agree that the number of quality personal blogs may level off or even decrease in the near future, I think we're going to see an increase in the number of companies that embrace the blogging ethic to create a relationship with their customers and the public at large.

To help empower bloggers, I'm creating a forum for both personal and professional bloggers that will offer resources and support. Check it out and join up. Share your knowledge and pick up some hints, learn more about customizing your site and how to provide quality content. Any type of blogger using any platform/software is welcome. Bloggers need community, too.

Bloggers-exchange.com forum. Let me know what you think.

Test results

My test post went well, as did the switch over from the old Blogger to the new Googlfied Blogger. So I guess I'm ready to resurrect this, my oldest and original blog.

I'm a huge fan of the blog concept. Blogs are the first realizations of a true world democracy. Whether that is for good or ill still isn't known. So far I perceive the positives as outweighing any negative aspects.

I don't expect that the Chinese government, perhaps even our own, would agree with my statement. But that in itself is encouraging. Governments are legitimate only as far as they pay attention to the needs of their citizens. Now, the citizens have a way to let their needs, concerns and attitudes be heard. The internet could very well be the impetus for a worldwide democratic revolution. No longer do groups of people have to suffer in silence. On the web, every voice has an equal chance of being heard.

Even yours.

This is a test

This is a test of the new Blogger system. Had this been a real post, there would have been interesting content.

Useful Dead Technologies || kuro5hin.org

Sometimes I feel like a ludite. Even though my house is full of electronic gizmos, there are times I regret not having the sturdy, dependable hardware of the 50's. So when I read what mcgrew published over at Kuor5hin,Useful Dead Technologies || kuro5hin.org, I had to chuckle. I guess I'm not the only curmudgeon around here. What's really amazing is some of the feedback he got. Whew...That's why you never have a conversation like this in a bar.

Serial blog killer

I just killed off "Weakly Whirled News" and I intend to also kill "News and Reviews" before the evening's out. I had to hesitate when it came time to hit the "Delete this blog?" button. Killing off content that sometimes took a day or two to perfect is really difficult. For a writer, it's a little like killing off a child, though the state looks much more kindly on killing a blog. But I really need to limit my blogging to just the two that I originally wanted to have, so the dross needed to be culled. Hmmm, maybe I'm a serial culler...

That's so gay

With my deepest apologies to James Taylor...

Sometimes my brain likes to modify song lyrics and find new meanings in older tunes. So here's my nomination for the Queer Nation anthem:

"Shower with the ones you'd love to love,
Show them the way that you feel.
Everything's gonna be much better
if you only will..."

OK, I promise to behave for a day or two.